How to Plan a Wedding (Without Going Crazy)?
- George Polgar
- Oct 29
- 12 min read
Planning a wedding can feel like juggling flaming torches while riding a unicycle — everyone expects you to look graceful, but no one hands you a fire extinguisher. Couples often expect the process to be magical, intuitive, and Pinterest-perfect... then three days later, reality hits: budgets, guest lists, decisions, deadlines, opinions, and Google Sheets multiply like rabbits.
Here's the good news: it doesn't have to be chaos. This guide walks you through how to plan a wedding step-by-step — from budgeting and timelines to creative shortcuts — so you can enjoy the process instead of surviving it. Whether you’re working with 18 months or just a handful of weeks, you’ll find calm amid the chaos and (hopefully) still like each other by the end.
Key Takeaways:
A clear structure and timeline will save you stress, time, and money.
The smartest wedding decisions are made early — especially around venue, budget and vendors.
There is a calm, organised way to plan a wedding — and I'll show you how.
Quick navigation // Table of Contents
3.1) Make a Plan
3.2) Book Key Vendors and Venue
3.3) Dive Into Details
3.4) Send Invitations and Finalize Logistics
3.5) The Final Steps
6) FAQ
What are the steps to planning a wedding?
What is the 30-5 rule for weddings?
How can I set a realistic wedding budget?
What should be included in a wedding planning checklist?
1) How Long Does It Take to Plan a Wedding?
The short answer: longer than you think, but shorter than your Aunt Carol claims.
Most couples spend between 12 and 18 months planning their wedding — that’s the sweet spot where you can take your time, secure the vendors you love, and avoid last-minute meltdowns. But not every wedding needs that much prep. Micro weddings and elopements can come together beautifully in as little as 3 to 6 months if you stay organised.
The rule of thumb is simple: the more guests, logistics, and personalisation you want, the more lead time you’ll need.
How far in advance should you start?
If you’ve got the luxury of time, start early. Your venue will thank you — and so will your future self.
Here’s a rough timeline that works for most couples:
12 months out: Decide on your wedding vision, set a budget, and book your venue.
9 months: Secure key vendors like photographer, videographer, and celebrant.
6 months: Choose your outfits, book hair and makeup, and send "save the dates".
3 months: Finalise the menu, confirm RSVPs, and organise transport or accommodation.
1 month: Confirm all details, pay balances, and let go of what’s not essential.
The secret isn’t in having more time — it’s in using whatever time you have wisely.
Can you plan a wedding in 3–6 months?
Absolutely. A shorter engagement doesn’t mean a lesser wedding. It just forces you to focus on what’s important: the commitment, the people, and the vibe. Couples who plan in a short timeframe often describe the experience as "intense but liberating" — there’s no space for overthinking or second-guessing.
When working on a tight schedule:
Prioritise the essentials (venue, celebrant, videographer, food).
Choose vendors who communicate quickly and clearly.
Embrace ready-to-wear attire and minimalist decor.
Don’t try to DIY everything. Pick your battles.
If you’re eloping or keeping it small, 3–6 months is plenty. In New Zealand, spontaneous elopements have become increasingly popular — think Moke Lake, Queenstown gardens, or a secret beach near Riverton.
What if you’ve only got a few weeks left?
First: breathe.
Then remember: your guests are there for you, not your chair sashes.
In a pinch, lean on checklists (you’ll find a downloadable one later) and vendors who specialise in fast turnarounds. Focus your energy on three things: a location, a celebrant, and a way to capture it all — photos, video, or both.
A small ceremony at a local park, a dinner at your favourite restaurant, and photos by a trusted professional can still feel incredibly special. The truth? Sometimes the weddings planned in two weeks end up being the most joyful, because no one had time to overcomplicate them.
2) How to Plan a Wedding on a Budget?
There’s a myth that weddings must be expensive to be beautiful. Total rubbish. You can create something meaningful, elegant, and completely "you" without draining your savings or selling your car.
The trick is knowing what to splurge on and where to cut corners. Spoiler: it’s never about the price tag — it’s about the choices.
How to plan an affordable wedding (even around $1000)
Let’s be honest — $1000 sounds impossible. But it’s doable if you strip away everything that’s not essential. Forget Pinterest perfection. Focus on connection, creativity, and atmosphere.
Here’s how couples in New Zealand are doing it:
Play with the date. Choose a weekday or off-season month (like May or August). Venues and photographers often offer discounted rates then.
Cut the guest list. Every extra person adds cost — food, chairs, transport, space. Invite the ones who truly matter.
Rethink the bar. Offer wine, beer, and a signature cocktail instead of a full bar.
Borrow, don’t buy. Ask friends for decor, speakers, or even a dress. People love to help.
DIY strategically. Handmade signs and playlists? Yes. Catering for 60 guests? Absolutely not.
Saving on food, fashion, and transport
Food and fashion are where most budgets explode. But both can be tamed.
Instead of a sit-down dinner, go for a grazing table or buffet — it’s social, relaxed, and easy to scale.
Food trucks are another clever option, especially for outdoor venues. They add charm without the formality or cost of full-service catering.
For outfits: look for sample sales, rentals, or pre-loved dresses. New Zealand has amazing bridal resale groups where gowns are practically new.
And for the groom? Nobody will care if your suit came from Hallensteins or Gucci — as long as it fits.
Transport-wise, ask yourself: do you really need a limousine? Borrow a friend’s classic car or rent a cute vintage — the photos will thank you.
Remember, your guests won’t remember what you spent — they’ll remember how they felt.
Budgeting tips to keep your sanity
Create a spreadsheet (yes, it’s boring — do it anyway).
Set a 10% contingency fund for surprises (they always come).
Pay vendors in instalments to spread the cost.
Track every deposit and due date.
And above all, communicate with your partner about money openly. Fights about budgets kill more wedding joy than bad weather ever could.
(For inspiration on where to allocate your budget, check out our Wedding Videographer page — you’ll see how much storytelling value a film can add to your day.)
3) How to Plan a Wedding without a Wedding Planner? (Step-by-Step Guide)
Hiring a planner is wonderful (we’ve written in detail about how a wedding planner can help you) — but it’s not essential. If you’re organised, decisive, and willing to Google "how to make a seating chart" at 2 a.m., you can absolutely plan your own wedding.
The trick is structure. Without a planner, you become the project manager, creative director, and logistics coordinator all in one. But don’t panic — you can still pull it off with grace.
3.1) Make a Plan
Start by asking yourselves one question: What matters most to us?
Is it the venue, the photos, the food, or just the people in one place? Write down your top three priorities — they’ll guide every decision from here.
Next, set a realistic budget. It’s not romantic, but it’s essential. Decide who’s contributing, what your top spend categories are, and what can flex.
Then create your guest list. That one decision will influence everything: venue size, catering, seating, even decor. Once you have a number, you can start looking for venues that fit both your vibe and your budget.
Don’t forget to build a shared spreadsheet (Google Sheets, Notion, whatever you prefer) — so both of you know what’s booked, what’s paid, and what’s still pending.
3.2) Book Key Vendors and Your Venue
This is where the magic starts to take shape.
Begin with your venue, as it sets your date and style. Once that’s locked in, everything else falls into place.
Next, secure your Wedding Photographer and Wedding Videographer. These are often booked a year ahead — especially in hotspots like Queenstown, Wanaka, or Invercargill. If you’re after cinematic storytelling, look for a team that gets your personality and the emotional tone you want.
At this stage, you’ll also want to book your celebrant or officiant, since they set the legal and emotional heart of your ceremony.
(If you want to explore the official requirements and practical steps around getting married in New Zealand, you can also refer to this helpful overview from the Citizens Advice Bureau.)
Then move on to other essentials:
Catering or food service
Music or entertainment
Florals and decor
Hair and makeup
Keep communication clear and friendly — vendors love clients who know what they want but also trust their expertise.
3.3) Dive Into the Details
Now for the stage where everything starts to feel real. You’ve booked the big stuff — now you’re shaping the experience.
Outfits: shop early. If your dress or suit needs tailoring, plan at least two fittings. Don’t forget accessories — they often get left to the last minute.
Rings: allow time for resizing or engraving.
Decor: focus on atmosphere, not clutter. One standout feature (like hanging lights or floral arches) has more impact than fifty tiny candles.
Music: curate a playlist that reflects your personalities. Include crowd-pleasers, but don’t forget songs that mean something to you two.
Accommodation: if guests are travelling, block hotel rooms or create a shared link for recommended stays.
Think of this as the creative phase — it’s where your personalities shine through. Keep it fun, not stressful.
(Tip: if you’re planning a Queenstown or Invercargill wedding, venues like Trelawn Place or The Transport World make coordination easier by offering all-in-one packages — a life-saver if you’re doing it solo.)
3.4) Send Invitations and Finalise Logistics
Now that you’ve booked the venue, vendors, and nailed down your theme, it’s time to tie up the hundred little details that hold everything together. This is where the real project management begins — and where even the calmest couples discover the true meaning of the word "timeline".
Invitations
Send your invitations about two to three months before the big day.
If you’re working with international guests, give them at least four months so they can sort flights and accommodation.
You don’t need to blow your budget on fancy stationery — digital invites are perfectly acceptable these days (and eco-friendly too).
If you love tangible keepsakes, print a few on premium paper for yourselves and close family. Otherwise, use an elegant email invite platform or even Canva templates — your guests will appreciate clarity over calligraphy.
Remember to include the essentials:
Date and time (specify ceremony and reception if different)
Venue address and parking details
Dress code
RSVP deadline (with clear options)
Link to your wedding website or gift registry (if you have one)
Once RSVPs start rolling in, update your spreadsheet immediately — otherwise you’ll end up with three versions of your guest list and no idea who’s actually coming.
The Wedding-Day Timeline
The secret to a stress-free wedding isn’t perfection; it’s preparation.
A detailed timeline lets everyone know where they’re meant to be and when, and stops those "Wait, where’s the bouquet?!" moments.
Start with a simple outline and fill in details as you go:
Morning: hair, makeup, breakfast, and prep photos.
Ceremony: 20–40 minutes is typical — short and heartfelt always wins.
Photoshoot: allow at least 45–60 minutes, depending on locations.
Reception: dinner, speeches, first dance, cake, and chaos.
Be realistic about travel time between locations — if you’re getting married in the Catlins but your reception’s in Invercargill, add a generous buffer.
And don’t be afraid to delegate. Your vendors and bridal party are there to help; use them.
(Pro tip: ask your videographer or photographer to help you structure the day’s timeline. At Wedding Films by Red Guy, we always help couples plan the flow so the day feels natural and stress-free — not like a military drill.)
The Seating Plan Saga
Ah yes, the seating plan — where relationships go to die.
There’s no magic formula, but a few ground rules can save your sanity:
Mix groups with similar energy levels (party people together, introverts near the bar).
Keep family politics in mind — if Aunt Janet and Uncle Ron haven’t spoken since 1997, don’t test fate.
Use sticky notes or online tools like "AllSeated" to experiment before printing.
And if it still feels impossible? Go for open seating. Nobody has ever left a wedding saying, "Great food, but shame about the chair arrangement."
3.5) The Final Steps
You’ve done the heavy lifting. Now it’s about refinement — polishing those last edges so you can actually enjoy the experience you’ve created.
Confirm Final Details
One week out, contact every vendor. Yes, every single one. Confirm arrival times, setup needs, dietary restrictions, and final payments.
It’s also smart to appoint a wedding-day coordinator — not necessarily a professional, but a trusted friend or sibling who can answer questions on your behalf while you’re busy being fabulous.
Have all contact numbers printed and saved on your phone.
If you’re the spreadsheet type (and by now you probably are), create a one-page "day-of summary" with key info for everyone — from celebrant to caterer.
The Emergency Kit
Every couple should have one. Call it your "wedding survival kit" — a small bag of things you’ll thank yourself for later:
Safety pins and fashion tape
Tissues and mints
Band-Aids and painkillers
Snacks and water
Phone charger
A tiny sewing kit
A copy of your vows (because phones die, and nerves do strange things)
Hand it to your maid of honour or best man. They’ll feel important, and you’ll be ready for anything.
Plan Your Honeymoon (or Mini-Moon)
After months of planning, you deserve a reward.
Book your honeymoon early, even if it’s a modest getaway. Many couples in New Zealand now opt for "mini-moons" — short, relaxing escapes right after the wedding, followed by a bigger trip later.
A few favourites among couples we’ve filmed include:
A wine weekend in Central Otago
A cozy Airbnb near Lake Tekapo
A road trip through the Catlins
A few quiet days in Queenstown post-wedding for those cinematic sunrise photos
It doesn’t need to be far or fancy — just somewhere you can switch off your phones and remember why you did all this in the first place.
4) Here Is a Free Wedding Planning Checklist For You
No matter how organised you are, there’s always that moment when you wake up thinking, “Did we ever confirm the cake delivery?”
That’s where a proper checklist saves your sanity. We’ve made one for you — simple, printable, and actually useful.
Why It’s Useful
Because your brain will forget things. It’s not your fault — there are simply too many details to track.
Our checklist breaks everything into manageable phases:
Engagement prep (12+ months before)
Key vendors and logistics (12–9 months)
Theme, style and announcements (9–6 months)
Invitations and final vendor details (6–3 months)
The final countdown (1 month before)
Final week and wedding day (1 week before)
Each phase has the key tasks listed, plus optional extras if you want to go the extra mile.
It’s your roadmap from "yes" to "I do", and it’ll keep you two on the same page when the to-do list starts feeling endless.
How to Get Access
Just click here and follow the instructions: Free Wedding Planning Checklist.
It’s a mobile-friendly PDF document, so you can read through on your phone while waiting for the hairdresser or standing in line for coffee.
If you’re the old-school type, print it out and stick it on your fridge — there’s something satisfying about crossing off "book my caterer" with an actual pen.
How to Use It
Start by writing your wedding date at the top.
The checklist will help you work backwards, showing exactly when to tackle each stage. If your wedding’s just three months away, skip the 12-month section and dive right in — no guilt, no pressure.
Share the file with your partner, bridal party, or even your parents. Delegation is the unsung hero of wedding planning.
Pro tip: mark completed items or highlight them. It’s not just about tracking progress — it gives you that dopamine hit of satisfaction.
5) Your Sanity-Saving Send-Off
At the end of the day, planning a wedding is a bit like assembling flat-pack furniture: it looks easy until you actually start, someone always loses a screw, and there's a moment when you question all your life choices. But if you take it step by step (and keep snacks within reach), you'll be just fine.
Don’t compare your wedding to anyone else’s — not your best friend’s, not Pinterest’s, not even that influencer who had fireworks. Yours is about you two, your story, and the love you’re celebrating.
Remember: the goal isn't a "perfect" wedding — it's a joyful one.
Now go, plan like a legend, marry your favourite human, and let the dance floor chaos be the only chaos of the day! :) And if you’d like to capture that story in the most authentic, cinematic way possible, visit Wedding Films by Red Guy — because your memories deserve to live on film, not just in photos.
FAQ
What are the steps to planning a wedding?
Set a budget, build your guest list, secure your date and venue, book key vendors, then handle décor, attire and final logistics.
What is the 30-5 rule for weddings?
Spend the first 30 minutes greeting and enjoying your guests, and the last 5 minutes of every hour to breathe, hydrate and reset — it prevents burnout.
How can I set a realistic wedding budget?
Choose your top 3 priorities first, and let everything else adjust around those.
What should be included in a wedding planning checklist?
Timeline, guest list, vendors, attire, décor, stationery, logistics and final-week tasks.
Loved this article? Bookmark it so you can easily find it later!
And if you're ready to talk wedding films, get in touch here — we'd love to hear from you!
 | I’m George, the filmmaker and creative partner behind Red Guy Films — I create cinematic wedding films full of emotion and meaning. I began my career in television and advertising back in 2005, and I’ve been telling real stories ever since. |
Comments